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Beyond the “I Do’s” When to Question Your Marriage Vows

I, take thee___ to be wedded, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever, according to God’s Holy Ordinance, ‘til death do us part...

On your wedding day, you stood before God, your family and friends and made those very promises. Fast forward, those days of bliss may seem distant under the pressure of the hard work needed to make marriage last.

The vision board event was a huge success!

Here are four questions you should ask yourself before and after you’ve gotten married to determine if your vows can last beyond the I Do’s:

  • When you got married and said your vows, did you sincerely believe that you were entering into a relationship that really could last forever?

  • Do you understand what love is, let alone what it takes to love someone?

  • Are you willing to take the journey for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, no matter what it eventually looks like in the end?

  • Will you stand steadfast when trouble rears its head?

Richard and I said those vows, we believed in a love that would never fail; a love that, regardless of what trials would come our way, or what storms may threaten love and the covenant that bonds us together, will yet see us through it all. Richard and I certainly do not imagine that couples marry only to start pondering on the likely possibility that their love would end in divorce or that it wouldn’t be enough to sustain them during the challenging times. Unfortunately, more often than not, what we see happening in today’s world is that many couples buckle very easily at the earliest sign of pressure, and do not appear ready to uphold the vows they made to one another.

So, what is this unfailing love? Can we ever attain it in our marriages? The Bible says in Proverbs 20:6 (ESV), “Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?” So many of us don’t understand what love is and often times will confuse love with lust. God has shown us what love is through His sacrifice of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. That love was, and is the greatest act and demonstration of a love unfailing. The only way we can exemplify a love that great to one another is through Christ’s guidance. There is simply no greater love than one that totally puts aside one's own selfish desires, and only wants or needs to see one's spouse's needs met. Learning to give love without condition is what we all should seek to do with the Father’s help.

In real terms, love is not a feeling or emotion. It is a commandment from God. When we base love on emotions, as the world does, it can only lead to destruction. The bare fact is that when the feeling is gone and does not live up to our expectations, there goes the relationship.We must get to understand love the way God’s love is for us. Read 1 John 4:7-12 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Beloved, there is truly “no greater love than God’s love and His love is never failing."His love is unconditional and does not depend on what we do or do not do. Keep God first in your marriage and all things will work together for your good; you will be able to experience a love so great that it will last beyond the I Do’s.

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